The High School Nightmare

Everyone has their recurring high school nightmare. I'm relatively lucky in mine...I'm fully clothed. Unfortunately, I've returned to high school after receiving notice that my diploma, and those that followed, don't mean jack unless I take a few more courses. A glitch in the system wiped out part of my school records, and my diploma is now rendered null and void. Lovely.
My friends in high school were amazing. They were brilliant. And beautiful. And successful. I keep in touch with some, and everyone is blooming. I feel lucky to have had them. They helped pull me out of my shell.
Last night was different than my normal high school nightmare. I didn't just return as an older student with the same personality I had as a teenager. I returned with my adult views and voice. It. Was. Awesome.
I told myself to suck it up and take my Ritalin. That I wasn't an idiot. Just attention-deprived.
I told myself to look up when I walked. That it was okay. That I could wear shorts, because my legs will never look better.
I told everyone that I wasn't a bitch because of the car I drove, or the house I lived in. That I was shy. And scared. And crying inside.
I told the uber-knot in my tummy to take a hike.
I told my senior boyfriend that I was not an idiot. That I was smart enough to study with him. That money would not make him happy. That he was the most self-righteous, pretentious person I'd ever met. And that cheating on someone because you don't know yourself is not okay. Lying is not okay. Breaking people down is not okay. And running up your girlfriend's credit card for her parents to pay off is not okay.
I told myself to not be embarrassed by not saying the right thing in every social situation.
I told myself to breath.
I also cried and yelled at the top of my voice the whole time. But no one listened. No one noticed. A true nightmare.
The only positive to last night's dream was that I woke up with a smile on my face. Waiting in the parking lot for me was not my teal mustang...it was a maroon Porche. The perfect ending to a perfect dream.