Accountability

Not a day goes by that I don't complain about my weight. It's like this giant, looming number ready to ruin my day. I don't remember the last time I stepped on a scale.
I also don't remember the last time I stepped in a gym. I get in these spurts where I'll exercise, eat right, lose weight. But I'm friggin hungry! So inevitably, I break down. And eat. And eat. And eat.
And then not a day goes by that I don't complain about my weight. Especially during the summer. Bathing suits are my nemesis. So are shorts. I hate my legs. Always have, always will. And I've got this tire that refuses to deflate around my midsection. Then again, I'm not doing anything to help it go away, except complain, and eat more crap.
I admire those people who are accountable to themselves. They write food diaries. They have a workout partner. My sister has asked me several times to go to the gym, and I honestly don't feel like it.
Today I downed last night's dessert for breakfast. I know. Gross. But soooo good. And then I decided to do sit ups and leg lifts. On the bed. But I do them on the bed for a legitimate reason...my back. My back won't fuss at me if I do them on the bed.
A friend of mine recently made herself accountable for Art Every Day. It's an awesome blog. I look at it every day. I definitely create art every day. It's just in me. But I don't move every day, or eat healthy every day.
I complain every day, but that's pretty much as far as I get. People tell me I don't need to work out. "You have an active toddler. Running after him is enough." But that's just it. He runs circles around me. I don't run with him.
So I've decided to be more active. Sit less. And at least think twice about dessert for breakfast. I'm not quite ready yet to record weights, food intake and exercise, but I'm thinking about it. And at least I've made a conscious decision to move. That's got to be better than nothing, right?

And I haven't forgotten about my commitment to write about my grandparents, either. Each one deserves the best. And I'm at my writing best when I'm inspired. And lately I've pretty much only been inspired to eat dessert for breakfast. But I'll get there...