I have a wonderful memory from my childhood. It was the last big snow in the 757, and my sister, dad, Samoyed Panda and I spent the day playing hide-and-seek in the woods behind our house.
The fun wasn't so much funding my dad, but in following his footprints in the snow. He was meticulous...backtracking, circling, using Panda to throw us off the prints. My sister and I, I'm estimating we were about six and eight, giggled relentlessly and loved every minute.
We dragged ourselves into our warm home, soaked and freezing, to find our mom making hot chocolate and snow cream. It's a wonderful memory. Very Norman Rockwell-inspired. And apparently, just as difficult to recreate and live up to.
Just the same, that's what I'd like my son to have - wonderful memories. So today, when my Redneck Husband left for the day, I took Juni and Sadie into the woods behind our house.
This is when I realized difference No. 1 between my memory and my current reality. The woods behind my childhood home were sparse compared to what sprawls our backyard. Our property spans 20-some acres and backs up against a National Wildlife Refuge. It's dense, swampy, and filled with wildlife.
Sadie took off on the trail of, from the tracks I could count, about three deer. Juni followed.
This would be where difference No. 2 comes into play. Sadie weights 32 lbs. Juni is at 38, and I, well, I weight considerably more. What Sadie and Juni see as solid ice is basically a soaking pant leg to me. A small bump in the ground to them is a deathtrap of sticks and leaves and gunk for me. So navigation was not easy.
And of course the house is a good half-mile away at the point Juni says he has to poop. Wonderful. At that point, Jasen's habit of carrying toilet paper with him at all times seemed less disgusting and more genius. Luckily, after two minutes of trying to decide what to wipe a toddler's butt with, Juni decided "I just jokin."
Sadie was hot on the trail...and we came across some deer poop. Another obstacle not in my memory with my dad. Juni thought that was hilarious. And amazing. The trail ended for us when the deer jumped a barbed-wire fence and ditch in one stride.
So we followed Sadie while she sniffed, dug, ran and repeated. Something caught her fancy, and it took us a good five minutes to catch up.
Sadie was frantically digging through the snow, tugging and digging and tugging some more. Juni pronounced "treasure!" and we bolted for the puppy.
And that's when it hit me. Difference No. 3 and 4, all wrapped into one. No. 3: our woods have big animals. No. 4: Juni is a boy.
Sadie had found a treasure only a canine could love. Something dead. Something dead, and big. Something dead, big, and with its skin and hair still attached. We have coyotes, bears, deer, and God knows what else in those woods. So of course my mind began racing.
Sadie had the hide in her new adult teeth, trying vehemently to pry it from beneath the exposed, and very bare, ribs. It was nasty, matted hair with nasty, rubber-like skin. It was just nasty.
Juni had no problem with our discovery. "Eh, it's just a dead old grandma deer, mommy. Hey...mommy...wanna go to my playset? Come on, Sadie. Put dat skin down and let's go!"
I, on the other hand, got that uneasy stomach that comes along with realizing just what was under that snow. I'm almost positive my Redneck Husband buried the cow and her calf from the fall. He said he did. My best guess is that hunters took the thigh meat and left the carcass, which I find completely unacceptable. But I didn't glance at it long enough to figure it out. I just wanted to get my sore, soaked butt to Juni's playset.
The point is, Juni WILL have a wonderful memory from today. For him, finding that dead deer was nothing short of awesome. As much as it made me uneasy, apparently that's something boys don't seem bothered by.
For me, I'm choosing to remember my own memory of my dad. A wonderful day following tracks in the snow, minus anything dead.
