I took Juni to Great Wolf Lodge Thursday. Jasen stayed with us that night, but headed back Friday. So it was the "Juni & Mommy Roadtrip of 2012." And it was awesome. I gained 5 pounds noshing on pancakes, waffles and ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We swam, bowled, played in the arcade, and swam until our fingers and toes were nice and prune-y.
I figured Jasen would burp beer and fart turnips all night, but I still wanted him to know I was thinking about him. I know how he gets into bed...like a walrus plops onto a rock. No attention to the pretty pillows or sweet-smelling sheets. Just a humph and a plop. And snoring. Lots and lots of snoring.
A note atop his pillow wouldn't work. So where do you place a note for your Redneck Husband? I decided to think of where he spends his time.
The toilet? Putting a note on the toilet seat just seemed wrong. Very, very wrong. The fridge? I'm thinking he's seeing only food when the door opens. My note would get trampled. On the vanity, by his deodorant? I was out of town...no telling if he'd touch the Arm & Hammer that day or not. By the beer would definitely work, but he may decide to break out the Jack Daniels with me out of town. His truck is a mess, and it smells funny. Plus his idea of taking a message consists of tiny pieces of paper strewn throughout the entire vehicle. His sock and underwear drawer? Again...I'm out of town. He could wear his long johns all weekend for all I knew.
I decided my best bet was inside the shower, on top of his Pantene. I know. Not extremely romantic, but it's the only thing I knew he'd do while I was out of town...I knew that after a day in the waterpark, he'd take a shower. It worked.
That night I called him because Juni was crying, missing Daddy. And Jasen said he found the note, and that it made him feel good. Point scored for the wife...
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Valentine's Day Gifts
I'm busy creating lots of thoughtful, handmade Valentine's Day gifts for my friends, so this blog is on hold for a few days...check out what I'm creating on my other blog...
http://randomthoughtfulness365.blogspot.com/
Friday, January 13, 2012
Cooking for Jasen
Despite my complete hatred over Jasen assigning me a resolution, I decided to swallow my pride, suck it up, and try to cook a few things. Damn it.
This week I tried homemade chicken and dumplings. We're talking pastry blenders, rollings pins, the whole bit. It was beautiful. I added extra spices and veggies, and leftover chicken from my first attempt at feeding a picky husband who compliments his own cooking ad nauseum.
He gets home, and I'm helping Juni with his homework. The kitchen is immaculate. The house smells like comfort food, and I'm completely proud of myself.
He asks what's for dinner, I tell him, and he takes a peek. And the conversation begins...
Jasen "So, what does this go over? Rice? Noodles? Ohhh....egg noodles would be good."
Me: "It's chicken and dumplings. It's a one-pot meal. There's chicken, peas, carrots, corn, and dumplings. The dumplings ARE the starch."
Jasen: "Okay! I was just asking."
Me: "K."
Five minutes later...
Jasen: "How about some cornbread to go with it? That's sounds awesome! But I'll cook it. You don't know how to make cornbread like I do."
Me: Silent for 15 seconds, then "You're effing kidding me, right?"
Jasen: "I was just sayin', it would be good. But if it's going to hurt your feelings, never mind."
Me: "Of course it hurts my feelings! What did I tell you? I cook, you eat, and you don't complain. That's how this is going to go. If you complain, I don't cook, and I kill you. Got it?"
Jasen: "Why are you so mean to me? I just want some cornbread. You know what? Never mind the cornbread I'll just eat this. This is fine."
Me: "Okay! Mommy needs a timeout. I'm going to fill Juni's tub, you wash him, and I'm taking a shower. A long one. I swear, if you knock on that bathroom door I'll ... I don't even know. Do NOT knock on that door. Seriously."
Jasen: "Damn...don't you think you're over-reacting a little?"
Me: "Babe...I love you. But you're driving me crazy."
Thirty-five minutes later. Jasen takes his shower, I have everything ready to eat when he comes downstairs, including his sweet tea.
Immediately, he douses his bowl with pepper. I manage to not yell at him for not at least trying it first. But believe me...my blood is still boiling.
This week I tried homemade chicken and dumplings. We're talking pastry blenders, rollings pins, the whole bit. It was beautiful. I added extra spices and veggies, and leftover chicken from my first attempt at feeding a picky husband who compliments his own cooking ad nauseum.
He gets home, and I'm helping Juni with his homework. The kitchen is immaculate. The house smells like comfort food, and I'm completely proud of myself.
He asks what's for dinner, I tell him, and he takes a peek. And the conversation begins...
Jasen "So, what does this go over? Rice? Noodles? Ohhh....egg noodles would be good."
Me: "It's chicken and dumplings. It's a one-pot meal. There's chicken, peas, carrots, corn, and dumplings. The dumplings ARE the starch."
Jasen: "Okay! I was just asking."
Me: "K."
Five minutes later...
Jasen: "How about some cornbread to go with it? That's sounds awesome! But I'll cook it. You don't know how to make cornbread like I do."
Me: Silent for 15 seconds, then "You're effing kidding me, right?"
Jasen: "I was just sayin', it would be good. But if it's going to hurt your feelings, never mind."
Me: "Of course it hurts my feelings! What did I tell you? I cook, you eat, and you don't complain. That's how this is going to go. If you complain, I don't cook, and I kill you. Got it?"
Jasen: "Why are you so mean to me? I just want some cornbread. You know what? Never mind the cornbread I'll just eat this. This is fine."
Me: "Okay! Mommy needs a timeout. I'm going to fill Juni's tub, you wash him, and I'm taking a shower. A long one. I swear, if you knock on that bathroom door I'll ... I don't even know. Do NOT knock on that door. Seriously."
Jasen: "Damn...don't you think you're over-reacting a little?"
Me: "Babe...I love you. But you're driving me crazy."
Thirty-five minutes later. Jasen takes his shower, I have everything ready to eat when he comes downstairs, including his sweet tea.
Immediately, he douses his bowl with pepper. I manage to not yell at him for not at least trying it first. But believe me...my blood is still boiling.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
New Years Resolutions can kiss it
I'm not a fan of New Years Resolutions. Every year I make one, usually to loose weight, I succeed for 50 seconds and then fail. Enter the guilt, and depression. Not good.
Last year I decided to make life resolutions...small changes that will make a big difference in my everyday experiences. 2011 was to realize what I have, and the struggles most people face. In other words, get over myself. I decided to realize that my life rocks. And things could be worse. For example, if I had a tummy ache, I'd let myself feel sorry for about 3 seconds. And then I'd thank God my tummy wasn't upset from chemo. Perspective was my life resolution. Something I try to gain each and every day. So far, so good.
This year I decided my life resolution was thoughtfulness. Jasen laughed. But I decided to make myself accountable. Check it out here http://randomthoughtfulness365.blogspot.com/.
I mentioned Jasen laughed. He said my resolution was too broad. Here's how the conversation went:
Jasen "You should have the resolution to make and master 10 new recipes. You don't cook enough. You're cooking more than before, but not enough. And not with your heart."
Me: "So...you're giving me an assignment? Okay, Dad. Here's the thing. I used to cook for you all the time. And you never complimented me. Actually, every time you cook, you say it's the best in the world. This is the best shrimp ever! This is the best steak I've ever had! You love your cooking. And when I cook, you hover over my shoulder and tell me how to do things. Not fun. Before Juni was born, I cooked all the friggin time. But you made it miserable."
Jasen: "Okay, how about five?"
Me: "Seriously? Are you kidding me? I'm not your kid! You can't give me my resolution! I'll try to cook more, but I swear. If you hover, or tell me it's too healthy, or don't tell me you like anything, I'll never cook anything for you, ever again. Jackass."
Jasen: "Why are you so mean to me?"
Me: "Are you friggin kidding me? Dude...so, what's your resolution?"
Jasen: "Don't have one. There's nothing I need to change."
Me: "I can think of a few."
And that's when I turned over in bed, completely pouting. The next thing I know, he's snoring. I have begun to cook more. And he still is completely convinced he needs no resolutions to change anything. Argh.
Last year I decided to make life resolutions...small changes that will make a big difference in my everyday experiences. 2011 was to realize what I have, and the struggles most people face. In other words, get over myself. I decided to realize that my life rocks. And things could be worse. For example, if I had a tummy ache, I'd let myself feel sorry for about 3 seconds. And then I'd thank God my tummy wasn't upset from chemo. Perspective was my life resolution. Something I try to gain each and every day. So far, so good.
This year I decided my life resolution was thoughtfulness. Jasen laughed. But I decided to make myself accountable. Check it out here http://randomthoughtfulness365.blogspot.com/.
I mentioned Jasen laughed. He said my resolution was too broad. Here's how the conversation went:
Jasen "You should have the resolution to make and master 10 new recipes. You don't cook enough. You're cooking more than before, but not enough. And not with your heart."
Me: "So...you're giving me an assignment? Okay, Dad. Here's the thing. I used to cook for you all the time. And you never complimented me. Actually, every time you cook, you say it's the best in the world. This is the best shrimp ever! This is the best steak I've ever had! You love your cooking. And when I cook, you hover over my shoulder and tell me how to do things. Not fun. Before Juni was born, I cooked all the friggin time. But you made it miserable."
Jasen: "Okay, how about five?"
Me: "Seriously? Are you kidding me? I'm not your kid! You can't give me my resolution! I'll try to cook more, but I swear. If you hover, or tell me it's too healthy, or don't tell me you like anything, I'll never cook anything for you, ever again. Jackass."
Jasen: "Why are you so mean to me?"
Me: "Are you friggin kidding me? Dude...so, what's your resolution?"
Jasen: "Don't have one. There's nothing I need to change."
Me: "I can think of a few."
And that's when I turned over in bed, completely pouting. The next thing I know, he's snoring. I have begun to cook more. And he still is completely convinced he needs no resolutions to change anything. Argh.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
August? Really???
It's been AUGUST since I've found time for my blog? That's just insane. Granted, kindergarten took me a while to adjust to...I'm just not a 5:50 a.m. kinda girl. But that's just rediculous.
Today is a new day. Today, I begin making time for myself. I've kept notes about insane stories to write about. And I'll get there. But first thing's first. Resolutions...
I am not a fan of New Year's Resolutions. They suck. Set you up for failure. Every year mine are the same. Lose weight. Don't argue with my husband so much. Spend more time with Juni. But those are things I'll never feel secure about. I'll never feel happy about my weight. I try daily not to pick at my husband so much...relationships are work, and I go to work every day. And I could never spend enough time with Juni. I will always call my Mom Role Model, my mom, in tears, wondering if she felt the same inadequacy I feel. And she did! The Ultimate Uber-Mom felt the same was! Jackpot. If SHE questioned herself, then everyone will. There is no possible way to be a better mom than mine. End of story.
So...I'm taking a cue from two of my friends, who have inspired me throughout the years. Jenn and Cathy. Jenn is the true definition of an artist. She finds art every day, and even keeps several successful blogs up to date about her creations. Inspiration No. 1. Cathy is one of the most thoughtful people I know. She randomly sent me homemade apple sauce. From Kentucky. I felt like an ass. All I sent her was a Christmas card, and ordered a few football tickets in advance for her family. Inspiration No. 2.
The result: 365 Acts of Thoughtfulness. That's my goal. And it's totally do-able. I'll keep track on my blog. And notice...it's not 365 days...some days are better than others. Some days, I suck. And that's okay. Jenn creates art every day. I envy her. And I'm reasonably thoughtful every day, but my resolution isn't about reasonable. It's about thinking. Going out of my way. Doing something out of the ordinary.
So...here's the new blog...365 Random Acts of Thoughtfulness.
Today is a new day. Today, I begin making time for myself. I've kept notes about insane stories to write about. And I'll get there. But first thing's first. Resolutions...
I am not a fan of New Year's Resolutions. They suck. Set you up for failure. Every year mine are the same. Lose weight. Don't argue with my husband so much. Spend more time with Juni. But those are things I'll never feel secure about. I'll never feel happy about my weight. I try daily not to pick at my husband so much...relationships are work, and I go to work every day. And I could never spend enough time with Juni. I will always call my Mom Role Model, my mom, in tears, wondering if she felt the same inadequacy I feel. And she did! The Ultimate Uber-Mom felt the same was! Jackpot. If SHE questioned herself, then everyone will. There is no possible way to be a better mom than mine. End of story.
So...I'm taking a cue from two of my friends, who have inspired me throughout the years. Jenn and Cathy. Jenn is the true definition of an artist. She finds art every day, and even keeps several successful blogs up to date about her creations. Inspiration No. 1. Cathy is one of the most thoughtful people I know. She randomly sent me homemade apple sauce. From Kentucky. I felt like an ass. All I sent her was a Christmas card, and ordered a few football tickets in advance for her family. Inspiration No. 2.
The result: 365 Acts of Thoughtfulness. That's my goal. And it's totally do-able. I'll keep track on my blog. And notice...it's not 365 days...some days are better than others. Some days, I suck. And that's okay. Jenn creates art every day. I envy her. And I'm reasonably thoughtful every day, but my resolution isn't about reasonable. It's about thinking. Going out of my way. Doing something out of the ordinary.
So...here's the new blog...365 Random Acts of Thoughtfulness.
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