Sirloin Antics

Calves are awesome. So cute. So curious. So very mischievous. Now that Juni is in school for a few hours each day, I finally have the time to learn and tame a calf. Sirloin is my first attempt.
I know what you're thinking. I'll get too attached. But I've been through this before. I bottle fed HotRod for four months, and once he hit puberty, I was more than happy to ship him off and get my check. They turn into ... well ... the equivalent to a human 15-year-old boy. But worse. Let me digress for a moment and describe our bull, Big John, at the moment...
- He waits by the gate all night for Cream to come into the pasture. (He's waiting to smell the I-can-get-preggers hormone) He spends his days strolling from ass to ass, sniffing and waiting. Pitiful.
- His curly hair on top of his head is frizzy, and covered in a mud-colored substance. Key words here are mud and colored. Of course it's not mud. That would be just disgusting. It's poop. That's right. He's completely and utterly disgusting.
- He doesn't mind the poop. Why, do you ask? Because it's an unfortunate risk he takes when detecting the I-can-get-preggers hormone. Which he detects by ... wait for it ... smelling and drinking the golden shower. He even scrunches his nose up to get an even better whiff. It is the most disgusting this you will ever witness. And Jasen thinks this cow has it made. A harem of heifers.
- He does what every 15-year-old boy does. By himself. (Infer here, please. I'm trying to maintain my ladylike impression). Except Big John can just do it into thin air. It's horrible. He's a walking ton-of-disgust.
- He's a wuss, but not before putting on a big show. Pawing at the dirt with his gigantic hooves. Bowing his head and thrusting it forward at me...all to deter me from getting near his ladies. Of course all I do is throw my hands in the air and he high-tails it into the middle of the field.

That is what my precious little Sirloin will become in 12 short months. A poop-wearing, piss-drinking, pleasing-himself moron.

So for now, I'm practicing with Sirloin, so when Cream does have a female, I can groom her personality like her mommy's.
Yesterday I hit pay dirt. He now eats out of my hand. And lets me relax in the field with him. And he's just too curious. Serious. He's too curious. Licking my jeans. Licking my arms. Licking my forehead. And, what earned him a pop on his cute little nose, EATING MY HAIR. Apparently, my hair looks worse than I thought. It looks like hay. Just what I need. Less hay-like hair on my head.
He then proceeded to pout. In the chicken coup. Disgusting already. But cute as can be.