This week I tried homemade chicken and dumplings. We're talking pastry blenders, rollings pins, the whole bit. It was beautiful. I added extra spices and veggies, and leftover chicken from my first attempt at feeding a picky husband who compliments his own cooking ad nauseum.
He gets home, and I'm helping Juni with his homework. The kitchen is immaculate. The house smells like comfort food, and I'm completely proud of myself.
He asks what's for dinner, I tell him, and he takes a peek. And the conversation begins...
Jasen "So, what does this go over? Rice? Noodles? Ohhh....egg noodles would be good."
Me: "It's chicken and dumplings. It's a one-pot meal. There's chicken, peas, carrots, corn, and dumplings. The dumplings ARE the starch."
Jasen: "Okay! I was just asking."
Me: "K."
Five minutes later...
Jasen: "How about some cornbread to go with it? That's sounds awesome! But I'll cook it. You don't know how to make cornbread like I do."
Me: Silent for 15 seconds, then "You're effing kidding me, right?"
Jasen: "I was just sayin', it would be good. But if it's going to hurt your feelings, never mind."
Me: "Of course it hurts my feelings! What did I tell you? I cook, you eat, and you don't complain. That's how this is going to go. If you complain, I don't cook, and I kill you. Got it?"
Jasen: "Why are you so mean to me? I just want some cornbread. You know what? Never mind the cornbread I'll just eat this. This is fine."
Me: "Okay! Mommy needs a timeout. I'm going to fill Juni's tub, you wash him, and I'm taking a shower. A long one. I swear, if you knock on that bathroom door I'll ... I don't even know. Do NOT knock on that door. Seriously."
Jasen: "Damn...don't you think you're over-reacting a little?"
Me: "Babe...I love you. But you're driving me crazy."
Thirty-five minutes later. Jasen takes his shower, I have everything ready to eat when he comes downstairs, including his sweet tea.
Immediately, he douses his bowl with pepper. I manage to not yell at him for not at least trying it first. But believe me...my blood is still boiling.
You should consider yourself wife of the year for doing all of this, and for not throwing a pan at his head when he asked for cornbread. God bless that shower. Must be a good one.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is exactly what my husband does when I cook. He looks over my shoulder and "suggests" the whole time. I feel your pain.
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