I fully intended to spend tonight making fun of Jasen for being completely terrified of getting his two wisdom teeth pulled today. I've spent the last three weeks explaining to him that it's really not a big deal, since they've been fully erupted for years. Not to mention there are women who have babies literally cut from their abdomens. And heart transplants. And colonoscopies. I mean come on, I had my wisdom teeth dug out of my jawbone. And developed dry socket a whopping three times.
You'd have thought Jasen was facing each of these procedures. In a single day. In a third-world country.
But in my conversation with my sister this morning explaining that I doped Jasen with Xanax just to chill him out, I was trumped. Big time. Her wisdom teeth story is the most hilarious, disturbing tidbit ever. I actually had a hard time driving straight while listening, since I laughed so hard I literally cried.
My sister's husband reminds me a lot of Jasen. He's just so sweet. He's country, handsome, funny, and just a great guy. He had his wisdom teeth taken out several years ago. Apparently, his dentist presented Jamie with an envelope containing said teeth. I personally think that's absolutely disgusting. Reminds me of a serial killer keeping trophies. But to each his own.
The point is, CeCe had no idea that her husband had kept his teeth. Until one day a few months ago.
My niece is adorable. She's almost two, and just the cutest girl in the world. Seriously. She's smart, she's curious, and she has learned that when anyone puts an open palm in front of her mouth, she is to immediately dispense the contents of her cute little mouth into said hand. She is, after all, a toddler.
So when Evie trotted into the kitchen one morning, she wore that look on her face that means she has something icky in her mouth that needs to come out. CeCe held out her hand, and out clinks four gigantic wisdom teeth. Yowsa. I actually asked my sister if she'd just made up that story. Nope. Completely true. And completely insane.
I'm pretty sure CeCe was more than a little freaked out. I mean, seriously. Evie could have choked to death on her father's wisdom teeth. I'm pretty sure that would be a first. And I can't even imagine the headlines. But I digress, as usual. She called Jamie, and asked why the hell anyone would want to keep their teeth. His answer? "They're my teeth. I want them."
And so now, like any good wife, CeCe has kept Jamie's teeth in a more toddler-safe place. On her desk. Again, gross. But whatever.
Jasen was actually pretty disappointed when he realized our dentist didn't send him home with two souvenirs. Then again, I don't have as strong of a stomach as CeCe. If Evie put Jasen's teeth in her mouth, She'd spit the teeth in my hand while I vomited in the other.
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